They always told me in speech class that when you are giving a talk to a group of people it is necessary to build credibility so that the audience trusts what you are saying. Fair enough.
“KT, what exactly are your credentials such that you can write the Fatty Food Review and we can trust what you have to say?”
First off, don’t trust shit you find on the internet. I saw an episode of Grey’s Anatomy last night with the girlfriend where a guy cut his finger off because of some information he found on the internet. He almost lost his hand and life because of it. Near Darwined. Anywho, what I write about these places is clearly my own. Take it or leave it, but I’ll try to give as fair of a review as I can to each place I go. The worst you can do is be out a bit of money. And don’t judge me for watching Grey’s Anantomy, it can be good sometimes.
Second, I love food. I love all types of food. I love all styles of food. I love the total experience that is the food. This means that in each review I’ll try to give the atmosphere a mention along with the rest of the meat and potatoes. I am also able to sort the bad apples from the delicious good ones and am more than willing to take the bullet and give one a try so you don’t have to. See? I’m also nice. And…
Third, I am fat. I have eaten everything several times over and will continue to do it because I enjoy it. The phrase of my group is ‘go big or go home’ and in my attempt to uphold this philosophy I will maintain the fatness and bring you the Fatty Food Review from the angle of a fat guy. When George Washington said at the Battle of the Bulge “Never trust a Skinny Chef” I’m pretty sure he meant never trust a skinny food critic. How can you really test a meal if you can only stomach one bite and say you’re full? It’s impossible to eat half a cucumber slice and say that you’ve truly experienced what the dish has to offer. I eat it all and report back from the first bite to the last. Om nom.
So there you go. I will enjoy the good stuff with you and take the bullet for the ones you don’t have to. And now I’m hungry.