Cog jam

Day two with no network access.

All play and no work makes KT go something something.

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Day 1 Recap

First day of work down and I must say: Damn it feels good to be back. Yay for money, yay for productivity, yay for not feeling worthless.

Most importantly though, yay for silly string.

These were hidden under some of the papers on the desk I inherited.

This job is going to be awesome.


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Shopping with KT

Welcome to the Big and Tall Store, is there something I may help you with?

*Yeah I need some pants, can you point me to the big and tall ones please?*

No, I can’t.

*What? Why?*

Well sir, that’s not how it works here. You may choose either big OR tall, but not both.

*But…but I’m big and tall. Do you see these legs? They are not really stubby and I need..*

Sir, you are a gigantic freak. Get out of my store.


Not really what happens, but what it feels like every time I try to buy pants.

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As of 2pm today, I am employed again. Assistant Administrator even.



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Way too accurate

I think someone at C&H is following me around to document my life. It’s really kinda creepy how much Tall Justin is me.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

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Hello Facebook

I was informed by a friend of mine that there existed a plugin that allowed me to send my blog posts directly to Facebook. Good for me, unfortunate for the internet as a whole. Assuming this works as intended I will now be sharing my ramblings with the good people of Facebook as well as those sad souls that stumbled across the actual page.

May god have mercy on you all.

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Fatty Food Review Ep. 2: Paradise India

As I finish the last post and eat my newly created turkey sandwich, I come to realize that I eat out a lot. I ate at three different places yesterday. A Mexican place, an Indian place, and Denny’s. I may or may not review Denny’s at some point seeing as it’s more of a place you end up rather than set off to. I’ll save the Mexican one for later and instead focus on the Indian one, Paradise India.

This is a place that I have gone to for several years and never gotten around to actually putting my thoughts about it down on paper. It is a little hole in the wall style Indian restaurant in a strip mall. It is very small with a max capacity of just under 80 (an estimate). They are closed on Mondays and offer a lunch buffet for a reasonable price every day until 3pm.

My girlfriend and I walked in and, as always, were greeted warmly by Yogi, the owner of the restaurant. He took us to our table and we ordered the non-vegetarian dinner for two. The Non-Veg dinner comes with two chicken samosas, two bowls of chicken vegetable soup, two meat dinners (I was feeling less adventurous last night and ordered the Chicken Tikka Masala and she ordered the Chicken Korma.) and a dessert of choice.

Before I get on with the GBU of this place, I would like to address something that has been somewhat of a struggle for Yogi for a while. There was a period about 8 months ago where he was trying to sort out kitchen and wait staff problems that were having a negative effect on the customers. Inattentive waiters during peak hours were causing a lack of filled glasses which is a big no-no for an Indian place, and a kitchen that was taking a long time to get food out. This caused many people to go and post negative reviews for him on many websites. I am pleased to report, however, that Yogi has taken vast measures, and listened to his customers, that have addressed each one of these problems in a magnificent way. Now on to the GBU!

The Good:
One of the things that Yogi likes to stress is the freshness of his food, and there is no question that the food is always extremely fresh. They cook each dish to order and have mastered the art of doing this in a way that took the average order time from 40 to 50 minutes for a table down to no more than 20. The soup was spicy as it should be, the samosas were perfectly fried, my masala and her korma were both delicious. I’m getting hungry again thinking about it. Mine was creamy and tomatoey, the chicken was tender and moist. The garlic naan was a bit crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. We always order the pistachio ice cream and it’s always excellent. Not too sweet, natural ingredients. Delicious.

This is a restaurant that is perfect for date night. The lights dim in the evening for a romantic atmosphere and the wait staff is never intrusive and they never harass you. The owner also makes rounds and, as far as I can tell, makes a point to talk to each table to find out how they are doing. Another bonus is that Yogi is very good at helping people who have never eaten Indian food before pick out something to eat that isn’t scary and is usually delicious.

The Bad:
I am fat. My enjoyment of food is such that when I love the taste of something, I want more. When not at a buffet food trough this can cause a problem. A food that is tasty, cheap, and large portioned is going to score HUGE marks in the fatty book as compared to something that is tasty, expensive, and small portioned. This is the main complaint that I have about Paradise India. The food is so delicious that I just want more of it. If each of the dishes that he gives were about 50% more full I would have no problems. The non-veg dinner for two, with two drinks, runs about 44 dollars. Not too bad on date night, but as a fatty I would love to see a slightly bigger dish come out. It may not prove to be a problem for fun-sized people, but the fatty likes to eat and eat lots.

Not a huge problem but something that I’ve noticed in the past: he could probably use bigger water glasses. That shit is spicy sometimes and I drink like a horse. Bigger glasses means less time running to my table. The waitress last night noticed this and just brought me a carafe of water. She got a fatty-sized tip for that one. A+

The Ugly:
They close at 9:30. This is probably going to be a common theme in my FFRs is that things in KC close way to damn early. Not like I want him to be open until 1am or something, but I hate feeling rushed if I want to have a late dinner starting at 8 or 8:15.

All in all Paradise India is one of my favorite restaurants. I had been searching for a good Indian place and this one had recently opened up and came highly recommended from a friend. This was 5 years ago and I’m still going to this one as often as I can. Here’s to you Yogi, keep up the good work and I’ll see you again as soon as possible.

Paradise India on 135th  gets 4.5 out of 5 fatty rolls.

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Fatty Food Review Ep. 1a

They always told me in speech class that when you are giving a talk to a group of people it is necessary to build credibility so that the audience trusts what you are saying. Fair enough.

“KT, what exactly are your credentials such that you can write the Fatty Food Review and we can trust what you have to say?”

First off, don’t trust shit you find on the internet. I saw an episode of Grey’s Anatomy last night with the girlfriend where a guy cut his finger off because of some information he found on the internet.  He almost lost his hand and life because of it. Near Darwined. Anywho, what I write about these places is clearly my own. Take it or leave it, but I’ll try to give as fair of a review as I can to each place I go. The worst you can do is be out a bit of money. And don’t judge me for watching Grey’s Anantomy, it can be good sometimes.

Second, I love food. I love all types of food. I love all styles of food. I love the total experience that is the food. This means that in each review I’ll try to give the atmosphere a mention along with the rest of the meat and potatoes. I am also able to sort the bad apples from the delicious good ones and am more than willing to take the bullet and give one a try so you don’t have to. See? I’m also nice. And…

Third, I am fat. I have eaten everything several times over and will continue to do it because I enjoy it. The phrase of my group is ‘go big or go home’ and in my attempt to uphold this philosophy I will maintain the fatness and bring you the Fatty Food Review from the angle of a fat guy. When George Washington said at the Battle of the Bulge “Never trust a Skinny Chef” I’m pretty sure he meant never trust a skinny food critic. How can you really test a meal if you can only stomach one bite and say you’re full? It’s impossible to eat half a cucumber slice and say that you’ve truly experienced what the dish has to offer. I eat it all and report back from the first bite to the last. Om nom.

So there you go. I will enjoy the good stuff with you and take the bullet for the ones you don’t have to. And now I’m hungry.

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Fatty Food Review Ep. 1: Dickey’s BBQ

Kansas City is known for its steak and BBQ. Tonight, my brother and I tried a bbq place that popped up near our house recently. Dickey’s BBQ near 119th and Metcalf was a delicious change from the normal BBQ that we go to.

BBQ places in KC really seem to only have two configurations. There is the Jack Stack ‘fancy’ style with table settings, a good table cloth, great food and an all too proper (and usually out of place) waiter. Then there is the Arthur Bryant’s grease pit hole-in-the-wall with wooden chairs and benches, crap on the walls, and fantastic food. Not to say that Jack Stack is bad, it just carries a pretty nice price tag to pay for those table cloths.

Dickey’s is firmly in the second category with a menu placed over the kitchen, medium sized wooden benches, and wooden chairs and tables throughout the restaurant. We ordered our meal, a slab of ribs, the large order of waffle fries, and the large order of fried okra, and went to work.

The Good: The ribs tasted fantastic. I’ve noticed that ribs have a tendency to dry out if cooked improperly but these were just awesome. Very juicy, flavorful, and fall off the bone delicious. The fries were crispy, not soggy. The fried okra was some of the best I’ve tasted in a long time outside of the Deep South. I used the spicy sauce on my ribs and it was just the right level of spiciness.

The Bad: The ribs were small. For 20 bucks I expect a bit more meat than what they gave out. In KC we usually see about 10 bucks per pound of ribs which is plenty to feed my brother and I so that we are quite sated, and we are not the smallest of people. The slab of pork ribs that we got was about one and a half pounds and just a bit underwhelming for the 20 dollar price tag. In addition, the level of BBQ sauce on the ribs inherently was lacking. I much prefer to have a saucy slab than a dry one so this was a negative point for me.

The Ugly: Super tiny cups and ladles for the BBQ sauce. It was so good, but the cups…they were inadequate!

All in all this was a great place and we will probably end up going back there. Instead of getting the slab and sides, we will probably get the family meal which includes 2 pounds of meat (which can be ribs) and 3 medium sides with rolls for 30 bucks instead of the 40 we spent total. The size of the ribs was a real turn off but the quality was good enough that it was somewhat offset. All in all, good place to eat.

Dickey’s on Metcalf gets 4/5 Fatty Rolls.

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What am I paying for exactly?

Serving size of the sea salt I used last night: 1.5g

Amount of Sodium per serving: 570mg

570mg / 1500mg = .38 or 38% salt per serving.

In that 500g container, I paid for 62% of it to be ‘other’. It’s an… assault on my wallet and senses.

I’m sorry.
*hangs head in shame*


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