The Turtle's Shell

I am exhausted. Because of this, I am somewhat cranky. I became increasingly cranky when I read this, which was an actual post somewhere. I was so angry I almost picked up a cactus to attack an engineer.

A little tidbit I learned today that I thought I would share (as well as sharing my failure at learning keyboard shortcuts):

If your computer is running an intel video driver, you can hit ctrl+alt+up/down to flip the computer’s monitor.

I will let your imagination run wild with how to harass people with this information.

The more you know!

It was the girlfriend’s birthday last Wednesday, but due to unfortunate schedule conflicts we were unable to celebrate properly until Saturday. Stupid works getting in the way of us having fun.

So on Saturday we went out onto the town and had a fantastic bouncing around to different stores and having dinner at Paradise India. To cap the night off we went to see The Help in the AMC Cinema Suites. It had been a while since we’d been and to be perfectly honest, I don’t recall why. Both times have been fantastic experiences and I would recommend them to anyone.

I was a bit shocked when I found out the tickets had dropped in price from 25 dollars down to 15 per ticket. Still a bit pricey, but you pay as much for an IMax3D movie right now and this is just as good of a value as that, albeit a different type of value.

For your 15 dollars you gain access to view your movie with people who are 21 years or older. After having viewed my fair share of films where the crowd has been filled with idiot hellspawn teenage failures this is a refreshing change. Of course it’s not inconceivable that the over 21 crowd would be just as unruly as the teen demons, but at least the chance of an adolescent hormonal uprising is somewhat minimized.

The seating is one of the biggest draws. I am no small person and the regular seats are not always the most comfortable thing in harnessing my ass. The cinema suites are, for all intents and purposes, lazy boy recliners with automatic reclining buttons. It sounds like you are farting whenever you are reclining, but I found that it made the experience just that much more enjoyable. The location of our seats were not the greatest, but being able to recline back and relax to watch the movie was fantastic. With how far back the seats lean, I probably wouldn’t have an issue sitting in the front row.

The waitress brought out ice water for both of us and kept them filled for the duration of the movie. I sadly can’t comment on the food, seeing as we ate before heading to the theater but it did smell tasty. I was tempted due to fatness to order the unlimited popcorn for 6.99 but we ended up not for various reasons. I’d have to figure the numbers on 2 bags of popcorn vs. unlimited, waiter-brought popcorn to see if it really was a good buy or not but I’d say probably.

I think the best way that I could sum up the Cinema Suites is this: I have seen two movies in the suites, one of which was great and the other which was only barely mediocre. The suites made both of the experiences fantastic in such a way that I even enjoyed the mediocre movie. Cinema Suites: Making crappy movies awesome.

Cinema Suites: 5/5 Fatty Rolls.

I have decided that I couldn’t ask for a better place to work at. I met the CEO of our company today and this is how it went down:

MyBoss: And this is KT, he’s our new QA.
CEO: Bloody Hell! You’re a big one aren’t you?
Me: Yessir.
MB: We call him the QA bouncer.
CEO: I can see why. Good thing he’s  on our side. Glad to have you on board.
Me: Thank you, glad to be here!

I don’t how how I got so lucky.

So now that I have a job that pays well, it’s time to take a look at other parts of my life and start to get them in order to achieve the KT version of the Buddhist’s Nirvana. Or at least something that works better than what I’m doing now.

What I’m about to say, I already know is not good for me but for any good experiment it is necessary for some background research to have been done.

SLEEP

I know I currently go to bed around 12:30am, asleep by 12:50am, alarm goes off at 6:30am and I’m up and moving by 6:45am. I typically feel groggy until I can get in the shower. A cup of coffee, 18oz black with low-cal creamer, is helpful in getting things going. Total time slept: <6 hours.

I’ve tried to make this work but sometimes it’s difficult to keep awake at work or keep focused for too long. The problem is that I still have things going on or that I want to participate in that really run me up to about midnight.

The way I plan on solving this is to adopt a bi-phasic sleep schedule. I plan on sleeping most nights from 12:30a to 5a, and a nap from 6p to 730p after I get off of work. From what I’ve read this is a good schedule that ends up working and is still flexible enough that if the nap needs to be skipped it can be. I plan on starting this next week and will be reporting back results as data is collected.

EXERCISE

I like to work out. It feels good and makes me a happier person. I’ve gotten away from this in my recent unemployment and I’m seeking to rectify this immediately. I feel fat and my cardio is shot, and this sucks. In order to cope with this, I will be exercising after I get up at 5 and going for a run on the elliptical machine or lifting weights or something. I haven’t made the final call about rejoining a gym yet, but it may be good for me. I’ll probably start out running and then move up to the harder stuff.

DIET

I’ve already started eating better. Breakfast is difficult for me to eat just because I’ve never really been a breakfast fan. I will maybe a granola bar or something on the way out the door but never a full blown meal. It slows me down and makes me even groggier. I’ve been having a mixed green salad for lunch with an egg and a lite Italian dressing. I haven’t had a soda in several weeks. I need to increase my water intake, but it shouldn’t be too much of a problem with the exercise boosting up. Minimizing the amount of times I go out to eat, cooking at home more, and eating more and smaller meals should be keys to winning here. I doubt that I’ll end up posting a food diary on here seeing as that might get a bit tedious and boring. Water counts maybe. We’ll see.

CONCLUSION

So there it is. My plan to victory all laid out in front of me and accountable for it now that it’s in print. Things have to change and after I get back from my trip this weekend the ball starts rolling. I have things to do and being a fat slob just won’t be getting them done anymore. For those that know: I plan on entering into the Winter as a Squire and leaving from Gates as a Knight. For those that don’t: That just means I’m going to be a hoss by next spring.

Let’s kick this pig.

That’s about how I would describe today. A series of conversations and quotes today at work made me just think that today was…odd.

My Boss in reference to the QC Manager: Go grab him for the meeting, and if he doesn’t want to come, just pick him up and carry him.
Me: Oh, I see why you hired me, muscle.
Boss: Your new position title is QA Bouncer.

After getting the QCM, he says to me: Ok KT, you’re representing me today in the meeting. If they ask  you any questions, say its a software problem and we’re going to issue a federal recall.
(We make medical equipment, so this would be a very bad thing.)

Went to hang out in the QC area to learn about what they do, ended up talking to several of the techs in there.
Female QC Tech, in refernce to chromatography: You should come over to the variant side, I can show you a lot more peaks.
Male QC Tech: Wow.
FQCT: Oh my, that didn’t come out right…at all. :/
Me: I’m the new guy, I’m so not touching that one.

QCM at the end of the day, asking for my boss: Hey KT, is QAM still here or did he go already?
Me: Uhm, I think he leaves at 4.
QCM: *walking off* SHIIIIIT, DAMMMIT QAM!!!!!

My job, what is this I don’t even.

I have several things to report on.

Very rarely does one notice the same vehicle on the freeway. I don’t mean just a similar car, I mean the exact same one. This morning I recognized one such vehicle as I was merging to get to work. My Ice Cream rival had returned. I was legitimately frightened when I merged and he was to my left. I thought he might launch some bomb pops at me or try to lay down some spike strips of choco-tacos. He glanced over with a scowl as a sort of acknowledgement of my entering onto the freeway and then he looked back forward. I’m not sure what to make of this. I’ll have to see if this turns into a highway friendship or a rivalry. There might be food involved and that’s probably the most important.

It would seem that I work with celebrities. I work with two different people, one looks like Steven Spielberg and the other looks like Matt Damon from Good Will Hunting, glasses and all. Which reminds me, would Jason Bourne have had nearly as many issues on Jurassic Park as the paleontologist? My guess is no, and he probably would have caught Dennis Nedry and beat him with his own boot.

Deep thoughts from Reddit today for a better life:

“[–]madewithfarts 2 points 18 minutes ago

Crop dust a group of people you don’t know once a day. Your going to have to fart today anyway, might as full make it fun.”

I had the option to write about my week.

Or post a tribute to the singer of one of the best stripper songs ever sung.

I’ve made my decision.

I accidentally cut off an ice cream truck driver in the way to work this morning.

The juxtaposition of happy ice cream music coupled with unbridled, turtle-pop waving, rage was quite surreal. For just the slightest fraction of a moment I thought I might be living in Twisted Metal, only I had the shitty car and a Mad Katz controller.

Slouch down, avoid eye contact, do not offer to buy a bomb pop, could end badly.

Shift lanes, Take exit, begin work day.

My life is weird when I’m up before noon.

I told myself when I started this thing that I wouldn’t just use it to repost crap I found on Reddit. But this… this is so worth it.

Enjoy.